I’m a Nervous Wreck Who Still Travels the World

Anxiety lives in my body the way an Emerald Ash Borer squirms its way into a tree. Writhing, ever-present, and deadly. It devours me from the inside out, crushing my will to do anything much of the time. My anxiety and I live in symbiosis — one not existing without the other. My mind is always racing with the worst possible conclusions, scenarios that would make Final Destination look like My Little Pony. Even so, when I travel, that anxiety becomes a vital travel companion. I travel to spite it. If I waited for the perfect time, I’d never leave my condo. 

Now, more than ever, my heart longs to see the world. Meet new people. See new things. Still, that bastard Anxiety Cricket – Jiminy Cricket’s evil twin – has been screaming nonstop for months. “Not right now.” “The world is in a bad place.” “What if …” “What if …” Chirping and chirping. It never stops. 

I haven’t traveled much since 2024. Burdened with the existential dread stalking my daily existence, not wanting to deal with the myriad issues in travel, or simply not being able to afford it, I’ve seen little outside of Chicago for the better part of two years. I’ve taken small trips here and there, but that part of my life feels like a lifetime ago. When people ask where I’ve been lately, my heart sinks. “Nowhere, really,” I laugh, shrugging off that vital piece of myself I feel shrinking day by day. Travel, vacation, adventure all seem so frivolous right now, especially when so many folks are struggling to get by. 

When we’re needed at home to protect each other, it’s easy to forget to bolster ourselves. That’s why I am begging you to take that trip you’ve been dreaming about. If you can’t afford one far away, make a day or two of somewhere nearby. Just get out of your element. Breathe air you never breathed before. Converse with a stranger you’ve never met. Do anything to keep expanding your world view, even if it’s only mile by mile. Anytime that Anxiety Cricket chirps a little too loudly, try to remember the things that make the scary travel moments worth it. 

For me, I remember moments like my opportunity to spend time with a female indigenous chief in Panamá. It had rained a lot before we arrived at the Emberá village along the river. My colleagues headed off to hike a nearby waterfall, but I stayed behind with another colleague. It wasn’t exactly my anxiety that stopped me; it was logic. My clumsy self does not need to be trekking up a muddy trail by a waterfall. Rather than worrying about slipping and toppling down the waterfall to my death, I experienced moments I’d never imagined. Sitting with one of our hosts and the chief, we learned more about her life and her people. Clinging to every Spanish word I could recognize from the days when I was fluent, I nabbed bits and pieces of her story. Eventually, the chief’s eyes met mine. 

She asked if my tattoos were real. Of the 11 or 12 I had at the time, she could see at least six, covering much of my right and some of my left arms. I nodded and said they were. She laughed. “You’ll have no problem with childbirth,” she said in Spanish, translated by our host. I laughed. We shared a moment like old friends, even crossing language and cultural barriers. You see, the Emberá people we met, largely women, had many tattoos, but they are temporary. Similar to Henna, they’re made from jagua fruit ink and last a few weeks. 

Unlike jagua tattoos, though, those moments don’t fade. If anything, they only get stronger. Unexpected situations can set an anxious person like me into a tizzy, yet the resulting experiences can be world-view changing. They remind us that we are human, tethered to one another in unspoken and incredible ways. 

Another universal truth travelers have to face is that there is never a perfect time to travel. Don’t get me wrong, fuel prices are astronomical. Travel is an even more expensive luxury than it was before, not just financially, but time-wise as well. Flights can be canceled or delayed, airport security is more onerous than usual, and administrations are weaponizing airports. Right now is, in so many ways, a terrible time to travel, which is why it seems a critical moment to remind everyone not to lose sight of their globe-trotter dreams. 

Even if the timing is wrong now, don’t let go of that travel bug. If there’s a place you want to see, a bucket list location, or a new experience you’ve been wanting to have, dream about it. Plan it. Learn about it. Do what you can to keep that flame alive. Don’t let anxiety stop you from expanding your horizons. I can assure you, when the flame starts to die down, it is really hard to stoke back to life. 

Your Dog Deserves Real Food. Now 60% Off.

Vets say UnKibble is "the food dogs were born to eat." Made with USDA-grade meats, gently dried to lock in 99% of nutrients, no fridge needed. 87% of dogs saw health improvements after switching. Your dog deserves this: Get 60% off with code DESERVES60.

Try UnKibble for 60% Off

You’re 28 days away from firmer, glowier skin.

Aramore’s MIT & Harvard co-founders developed a special complex to help boost back skin’s NAD+, the molecule that controls how we age. Best part: you’ll see results in just one skin cycle, or 28 days.

Start your skin transformation with 20% off. Use code NEWSLETTER20.

Shop Now & Save