Say What You Mean: Reinforcing Queer-Friendly Travel

“Women are prettier when they smile,” the tour guide said to me in front of the group. I glared at him beneath my sunglasses. “Good thing I’m non-binary,” I replied. He snickered that doesn’t exist here, to which I replied, “Good thing I’m not from here, then.” I pulled the cowl over my mouth so I wouldn’t have to smile, and the guide said he was glad he wouldn’t have to look at me anymore. 

That destination was said to be queer-friendly. While I recognize cultural differences, misogyny and bigoted comments are still unacceptable — especially in the travel industry. Only later did I realize that the destination was probably more gay-male-friendly than queer friendly. Other travelers online confirmed my suspicion. Queer-friendly has become a catchall term in travel, but queer folks know not all destinations are treated equally, and pasting that phrase onto locations doesn’t make us safer. 

Chase Vondran or explorewithchase – a queer and trans travel creator – knows this all too well. “One example that sticks out is a popular European country often ranked as one of the most LGBTQ-friendly countries in the world,” they explained. “I was really surprised at the lack of Pride flags and visibility. I talked about it online more out of curiosity and got a lot of backlash: locals saying that flags are performative and don’t mean anything, and other not-so-nice comments saying essentially that ‘you can be gay, but you don't need to tell everyone about it.’” Vondran added that the country was more conservative than anticipated, and they were hesitant to be out while visiting.

Vondran went on to explain that they had also visited a very touristy town in the United States that was labeled as “queer-friendly.” The only gay bar was primarily full of cis gay men, and the LGBTQIA+ tour guide was an “ally” who relied on “outdated, racist, and homophobic language,” they said. All the same, Vondran acknowledged the town was lovely and they had fun, but it was not queer-friendly in their experience. 

LGBTQIA+ travel writer Lindsey Danis – who is queer and gender expansive – has also experienced similar contradictions. Davis is the author of (Out) On the Road: How Queer Travel Is Different and Why It Matters (to be released in 2026) and the founder of the LGBTQIA+ travel blog Queer Adventurers. While entire trips haven’t felt unsafe for them as a queer person, there have been incidents in supposedly queer-friendly places. 

“I’ve had experiences lots of times of being somewhere that’s supposed to be super queer-friendly and having incidents or microaggressions where I’m the subject of negative attention or

Scrutiny,” they explained. “... Most recently, I went down to New York City for a conference. I came in through the Port Authority bus station. I got off my bus, went to the bathroom, [and] stepped inside, and people were like, ‘Whoa, is that a man in the bathroom?’ I don’t really care whether people perceive me as male or female, but in the current political environment, that kind of situation can escalate and become really unsafe. We’ve seen instances where it has – I’m thinking of the lesbian who was hassled by security at the Liberty Hotel in Boston (where I’m from) and the trans man who used the women’s restroom to comply with a new South Carolina law and was detained.”

Mislabeling a destination as queer friendly as opposed to gay-male-friendly might seem like a minor detail — until it’s not. Slapping a label on a locale  like a bumper sticker doesn’t just make it inherently more inclusive. Of course, a destination can’t control all of its citizens, nor should it; however, we deserve some indication of the truth. For me, knowing the sociopolitical context of a place determines a great deal about how I travel there or whether I do at all. As a travel writer, I don’t write about places that have made me feel unsafe because it would implicitly endorse that location for my queer community. The fact is – we cannot safely travel to every corner of the globe, and it’s important to be forthright about it. 

It’s fine if a destination is just gay, cis-male-friendly, but tell us that. 

Travel content creator and podcaster Rachel Miller –  also known as blondwayfarer, who identifies as bisexual – noted that destinations must be more conscious of their decisions. “I am a very feminine cis woman (I love my long hair, dresses, and manicures), and I never had any questions about my gender identity,” she explained. “I always felt like a woman who happened to have crushes on everyone. Therefore, I feel I also have some privilege in destinations that may not be marketed properly to our community. No one really questions my orientation if they don't personally know me, nor do strangers question my presence in certain spaces (such as bathrooms). I absolutely think some destinations market themselves as queer-friendly, when in reality, someone who doesn't adhere to the gender binary may still face challenges that I don't. It's SO important that destinations be honest about this.”

Miller also added that she has seen queer-friendly destinations only promoting bars for gay men without highlighting anything for other members of the LBGTQIA+ community. Perhaps part of the issue, as Miller points out, is the lack of inclusivity in the destination staff themselves. “You also don’t see many lesbian/bisexual women in marketing,” she noted. 

Vondran seconds that a big part of the problem is likely the folks behind the decisions — especially since so much marketing and queer travel content is still heavily focused on the experiences of cis gay men. Yet, Vondran knows that the industry is evolving.

“The fact that I'm able to have a career as a trans creator and am still getting work after starting my transition shows that there is hope and there are a lot of people who want diverse perspectives and voices,” they explained. “Last year, I worked with Provincetown – a historic gay village – and my video blew up. It's one of their highest-viewed reels (by a lot) on their page, and honestly, I couldn't be prouder. That visibility matters. No shade to the shirtless hot gay male creators, but queer women, trans, and gender-nonconforming creators are creating high value, authentic content — and audiences are connecting with it. 

“Queer travelers are hungry for authentic recommendations and spaces where they can feel safe, seen, and celebrated,” Vondran continued. “Diversity is strategic business-wise; people need to see themselves represented, and queer travelers are hungry for authentic recommendations and places they can go and feel seen, safe and celebrated.”

That message echoed between all three interviewees: a desire for safety — not just for ourselves, but for all queer travelers. We deserve to be more than a catchy buzzword. Destinations can’t just use a Pride flag in their marketing and call it a day. Cultivating a safe space for queer folks — all queer folks — deserves more effort than that. 

This is particularly true for the queer community members of color. The LGBTQIA+ community as a whole deserves an intersectional approach — one that connects travelers’ sexuality, gender identity, race, class, etc. Queer folks are not a monolith. We are an incredible, vibrant community with so many other identities outside of our gender and sexuality to account for. 

“I love referring people to this iceberg image for a quick visual of ‘here’s what we mean,’” Danis explained of the dominance of white, cis gay men dominating queer culture. “They’re up top, sunning themselves, having a cute moment, while the rest of us are clinging on the sides.”